Parents do a great job of handling their children crying, pouting, fussing and throwing fits. Everything but WHINING! Whining is like needles in our ears and just can’t be tolerated. How on earth can we get it to stop? How are we going to make it through summer vacation?
Check out the Positive Parenting Solutions Blog. Where has this resource been all my life?
WHY?
All humans are hard-wired with two basic emotional needs – attention and power. When kids aren’t getting as much positive attention as they need, they will seek it out. And to kids, negative attention is better than no attention at all. So kids whine repeatedly in the hopes that eventually they’ll get the positive attention they need. When they don’t get that attention, the whining and attention-seeking behavior will intensify into behaviors that seek power.
SOLUTION?
The next time your kids whine, stay true to your word. Stay calm and walk away – even our negative non-verbal reaction to whining can be a payoff. When your child uses her normal voice, be sure to respond right away, calmly and pleasantly. The first few times, the whining may be more intense, as she tries to see how long it will take for Mom or Dad to give in. But after a few times of not finding a payoff for whining, she’ll realize she’s more likely to get positive attention by using her normal voice.
– The Positive Parenting Solutions Blog
This is great information for any parent that is dealing with difficult behavior. Being consistent is key, especially with multiple caregivers during the summer shuffle. Practicing this technique will help diffuse the negative attention. Also trying a few extra minutes of positive attention will be beneficial for a multitude of reasons. Summer vacation means unstructured time and therefore, boredom. This is the perfect scenario for a gale force whine storm.
CHALLENGE-
This is a humorous example of one families’ activities during the summer.
What does your pie chart look like? Just for fun, try making one based on your expectations today at the beginning of summer. You could do another one at the end of summer to show where the time actually was spent.
Good luck parents- keep holding your ground. You can do it! Hopefully you don’t have any more than 5% of your summer whining.
