Are you a people pleaser and an expert at avoiding any confrontation? What happened to your approach when you became a parent? Does your toddler control you? Although this is a scary concept and foreign to some, it is a daily struggle for others. Some parents may not even realize they have completely lost control.
The tone and attitude with which you parent is so important. If you are not confident with your own behavior, how can you achieve the behavior that you desire from your children? Here is a perfect example of different tones achieving different results. I say “turn around and eat your dinner” to my toddler and observe absolutely no positive response because of my indecisive tone and body language. My next typical step 
would be to yell it. However, my husband repeats the exact same statement, but with a much more confident tone (not mean or loud). The positive behavior was achieved, like magic. I exclaim “this is just not natural for me, and I can’t learn it”. I don’t seem to have the skill set to discipline in a healthy way. It just seems difficult to control my tone and behavior and yet still remain confident of goal achievement. Deflated and confused, I resort to what any logical mother would, consult the world wide web for priceless advice.
What a great article, Confessions of a pushover parent- and how I turned this around written by Janet Lansbury. I found this truly inspiring and real-life appropriate. This supportive article helps you establish boundaries for your children even when it’s not naturally in your character to do so. I also found myself reading several of her posts on her website Elevating child care. Yes, I realize you must be wondering, she married into the family of Angela Lansbury. Remember Murder she wrote?
Are you a permissive parent or a positive parent? What is your parenting style? What do you want your parenting style to be? Do you admire your friends’ parenting styles? Are you trying to please your child for the moment to make life easy, or are you trying to set a standard for your child’s behavior through teaching them positive behavior?
It is a tough call some days when you are struggling to balance the universe and your toddler discovers the joy of throwing cheerios across the room from her high chair into the dog bowl. You take a moment to ponder, hmmmm, this entertainment isn’t hurting anyone is it? She is being quiet. What would happen if my mother-in-law were to visit unexpectedly right now? STOP! There is an issue if we consider behavior OK sometimes and not OK other times. The standard of behavior needs to be consistent or the child will never learn our expectations. Here is an interesting article entitled, 10 steps to end permissive parenting by Jennifer Tammy. This article helps you gauge yourself and become aware of behaviors as well as set goals for your family for the future.
Discipline lines can also become blurred if you have a child that has special needs. My third child is developmentally delayed in multiple areas and is a bit of a princess. She is just so cute and has mastered an adorable look that makes many family members give in to her ever-changing demands. Did I mention she is cute? Regardless of her different abilities, how will she ever learn the ways of the world if I’m not teaching her the reality of it? In some ways she needs discipline even more than other typically developing children. These lessons will help her become more successful in other environments.
The best advice I have found while surfing through mom blog after mom blog is that you really need to decide which behavior goal is the most important to you. This can be difficult if you have an overwhelming amount of troubling behaviors to choose from. Then EVERY day work on that specific behavior and NEVER give in. This means all family members must be in agreement and be in support of standing firm. Alas, the child will learn and be successful in achieving their goal. Then you can PARTY!
